The Second Second Blog Post

So here's the thing.

I've stopped writing.

There it is -- in print.  The ugly truth.

I stopped calling myself a writer for a while -- I felt like a fake.  I didn't have anything recently penned - nothing finished, at least - so I stopped talking about it.  Nothing to show, so why bring it up?

But other people called me a writer.  People who didn't know I didn't have much to show at the moment..  The few people in whom I confided that I was considering throwing in the towel.  People who had just met me, who had looked me straight in the eye and said, "You're a writer, aren't you?  You totally are."  I couldn't get away from it, even when I thought I wanted to do so.

And then I realized I didn't want to do so.  Because it's a fundamental part of who I am.

I have loud thoughts.  My brain has got to be one of the most vociferous, most insistent, most obnoxious noise machines I have ever encountered.  It takes hours for it to shut off at night; often I can't drown it out while trying to work, read, have conversations...

Writing requires ideas, which means thinking, which means listening, which means opening the floodgates and allowing the noise to sweep in.  I haven't yet learned - completely - how to filter out the superfluous.  But I can't let that stop me any more.

I like who I am when I write.  I like what I feel, I like what I say.  I like the euphoria when I see the pages fill with words.  

I like the way writing causes the noise to slowly grow quiet.

So I guess the only solution is to write.

So, my goals for this year (because, as it was so eloquently put previously, "it's not New Years but who cares):

 - Finish the short story that's haunted me for several months now

 - Finish the rest of the short stories that I believe will complete a fairly cohesive collection

 - Work on the novel that I began last week, finishing in time for November

 - Complete my fifth consecutive NaNoWriMo novel (and celebrate accordingly)

 - Blog at least 2 times a week, with the stretch goal of increasing to three

 - Something exercise related also, since I feel guilty for not including that...

I can do this.

This is important.

I must write again.

--AEE